It's pretty obvious that misogynist and homophobic behavior is almost required in most 'geek' fandoms, especially gaming. When the ultimate insults are either to accuse someone of being homosexual, or of being like a woman, it's hard to honestly argue otherwise. Hearing, over and over, that what you are is equated with everything pathetic, annoying, and weak by the people you're playing with, is incredibly tiring and hurtful. And no, the answer isn't "Just shut up and let the asshats talk however they like."
Women are often systematically driven out and/or silenced in many of these places; it's not that we don't exist in your fandom. We need to stop tolerating this kind of thing in order to try to 'fit in',and guys need to start accepting more responsibility for their behavior.
Instead of wondering why you don't see more women around in certain 'geek' communities, or just assuming (wrongly) that 'Girls just don't like [insert geeky interest here]. All of us (especially guys, being the majority) need to decide to step up and start breaking the cycle.